This 4th of July, Jill and Virginia—two farm-raised dynamos from just outside Ames, Iowa—set off on their annual getaway to the glamorous Big City. With purses stuffed full of Kleenex and Werther’s Originals, and brimming with confidence only a lifetime of 4H ribbons can bring, they hit the town in search of that star-spangled sparkle.

First stop: hot dogs at Roake’s, where the décor hasn’t changed since Eisenhower and ketchup still counts as a vegetable. As the jukebox belts out Elvis for the fifth time that hour, they chase down antacids with Classic Cokes and spill the tea (Darlene’s boy still hasn’t moved out, and Marlene is back with Carl…again.)

Next, they braved the labyrinth of public transit, navigating with their trusty paper map and a mutual mistrust of “those talking phone gadgets.” Four missed buses later (but still in good spirits—it was an adventure, after all), they arrived to pay homage to Iowa’s proudest attraction: a 1/10th-scale Statue of Liberty standing tall—or at least upright—in the back lot of Freedom RV & Marine, rows of gleaming RVs stretched out behind her like manifest destiny on wheels.

“She may be petite,” Virginia said, snapping a selfie, “but she’s got freedom in spades.”

Their quest continued at a playground two bus stops later, where Jill threw caution (and possibly a disc) to the wind and hurled herself down the slide in a blaze of patriotic determination, while Virginia stood nervously at the top watching like a seasoned Crown Charm pageant mom—equal parts pride and panic, silently calculating whether her Medicaid covers acts of God or ill-advised playground stunts.

After a long day of patriotism, processed meat, and near-dehydration, Virginia and Jill settled in to their lawn chairs in the back yard of their subdivision and toasted the stars and stripes with two lukewarm wine coolers. “I don’t see what all the fuss is about.”  Jill declared, watching fireworks erupt over a nearby Wendy’s, “Seems to me America’s already the greatest.”

Creative Team

Talent – Jill Sughrue

Talent – Virginia Kincaid

Hair & Makeup – Paige Ashcroft

Styling – Mia Rose